Identity Crisis

I'm having a bit of an identity crisis: I'm not really a hipster, and I'm not really a yuppie, though I share characteristics of both.  Call me, if you will, a yupster.  This happens to be one of those dichotomies that doesn't have much of a place for its hybrids though.  Being some of both seems to make me a complete outsider.  Unless, that is, I'm passing as one or the other in their respective venues.

This dilemma was really brought home to me today, after I ordered a soy cafe au lait at a totally hipster coffee joint.  Now, I prefer coffee shops to have a nice little counter whereat one might dress up one's own coffee to one's preference, with skim or whole milk, half and half or soy milk, plus an assortment of sugars, calorie free sweeteners (preferably including a stevia product, but good luck finding that), and other coffee accoutrements.  In New York though, you never know what they will or won't have, many places not having any counter at all, others sporting only half and half, soy milk, brown sugar and simple syrup, or some other such combination.  At many if not most coffee establishments, you will only get sneers of disdain if you inquire about the availability of any sugar free syrups.  And so, as I walked out of the cafe with my coffee, walked half a block down, stopped on someone's stairs and added a few Splenda packets from the stash I keep in my bag, and tried stirring them with one of those longer, sturdier Splenda packets before abandoning that tactic in favor of using one of the stems of my Ray Bans shades, I realized that I need to find a coffee shop at which I belong.

And the yuppie/hipster dilemma is all the more real and important even than my coffee issues to me at the present, as I have two interviews on Monday morning, one for a salaried corporate job and one for a job at Trader Joe's, two and a half hours apart from each other, between which I am hoping to have time not only for the commuting but also to change from my classy interviewing suit to my upscale casual interviewing outfit.  And I still haven't decided whether or not to slip my lip ring back in between the two interviews.

In other words, who am I?  Where do I belong?  And where do I go from here?