I'm sure this was on purpose, but still

I had to take a picture. Also, when are Rihanna and Lady Gaga going to do a song together?

I wish I had more money to throw at impressing people with buying electronics when they come out, 'cause I totally would.

Progress and fun! I mean, they finally made the fucking key finder!

Philosophy and Man on Man

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GLAAD and South Park's "The F-Word"

Check out the latest episode of South Park (season 13, episode: "The F-Word") if you've not yet seen it, and then check out one of the various articles on GLAAD's opposition.

"Fag" and "gay" obviously haven't yet been completely divorced from their time as homosexual slurs, but they are certainly transitioning. I'm a lesbian myself, and I try not to use these words, but I find that I have no other word that encompasses this particular meaning I often want to convey, namely, an annoyingly affected douche. (I'm sure there are feminists (I consider myself a feminist, by the way) who would have a problem with me using the word douche this way, but bear with me because I've already gotten too wrapped up in parenthetical statements and tangents, and I'd use the same argument for that word as I'm making here).

Oh people have suggested "ghetto", "retarded" and "lame" as substitutes, but those words offend some people and none of them really encapsulates my intended meaning anyway.

One thing I find interesting about this episode is its exploration of how in modern times with GLAAD and others groups and individuals constantly on the look out for political incorrectness, these kids have to try to actively, consciously evolve the meaning of a word (to the point of legislation) instead of letting the meme evolve more organically. Well these words have started to evolve organically, and I think the South Park people are helping gay people slough off the derogation of these terms onto the annoyingly affected douches of the world.

I also get annoyed when it seems that almost the only thing - besides the monthly donation requests - I hear from GLAAD is them ripping on a Family Guy episode (the satire of which they didn't seem to understand, or else don't care about meaning so much as the opportunity to voice their opinion that someone is oppressing us) and this South Park episode. First of all, if FG and SP can be said to be on our side or not, they're definitely on our side. Secondly, SP especially is always putting itself out on a hugely politically incorrect limb on every subject imaginable, and as a gay person, I can at least say for myself that I in no way want special treatment from them on topics that relate to me.

Further, I would love to annoy Fred Phelps' cronies and their "God Hates Fags" rallies. At the very least they'll have to repaint their signs, perhaps with the more cumbersome "God hates homosexuals", and that'll take a little zing out of their movement since it was partly their use of such a politically incorrect slur coming from a supposed organization of "God" that made them so notable and newsworthy.

And finally, I'm sorry, but even if I didn't have all these other reasons to "side with" SP on this issue, the "bikecurious" joke is comic gold and makes this episode just plain worth it.

...I could go deeper here about how I think Trey and Matt actually implanted, if you will, a clever trap for GLAAD into this episode (into which they obviously fell, considering their antagonism to this episode) that takes their maniacally satiric genius to a whole 'nother level...okay I'll go there. They're saying we're being fags (in the new definition that actually exists in the real world, not the Harley thing) when we sit around and decide we're not getting enough attention and so we should rumble louder for no reason. Well GLAAD's demand for an apology, is just such rumbling...and, yes, it makes them fags.

One bad thing about the internet

There's always a huge possibility that your last words to someone before you or they die will be "brb", "ttyl", or "lol kk, cya l8r" :[

The Office

Some people debate the relative merits of the British versus the American versions of The Office. My issue with watching the British The Office is that even if I only watch half an episode, for the rest of the day I incessantly talk to myself in the accent, syntactical structure, idioms, etc. of the characters in the show.

Has anyone talked about this?

While many straight men have gone along with a metrosexual trend, I've been noticing more and more gay men looking more...straight/masculine? Has anyone written witty articles about this and come up with some catchy term? Well the point is, my gaydar is falling apart.

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, The Movie

This is going to be the worst adaptation ever., with solely B actors, and Tucker Max being played by someone I've never seen before. Until the trailer that is, where he displays the worst acting I've seen since someone made me watch an Amanda Bynes movies. It also is going to just be a clusterfuck of whatever parts of the movie they could squish into one continuous story (as opposed to the memoir filled book). The things they would have had to omit from the book to keep the rating down to an R already mean that the most hilarious anecdotes will be missing. It seriously looks to be on par with American Pie. I'm offended by this way more than anything Tucker Max actually did.

theIHC.com

Red Man Vs. White Man

Isn't it great that what used to take Native Americans 4-6 months to do, traveling through the forest, hunting, starving, etc. we can now all do with a google search and 6 multiple choices questions? That's right, my spirit animal guide is a hawk.

Update: Apparently it might also be an eagle or a bear.

Realization I've made about concerts

I hadn't been to any concerts in my life (except for symphony orchestras in my childhood) until a few months ago and have since been to a handful. Third Eye Blind is one of my favorite bands, so I figured nothing could ruin this experience for me. Well, this is the concert that made me realize I don't want to go to concerts whereat people do not sit in seats. Here's the review I submitted per Ticketmaster's request:

Love this band, hate concerts

Third Eye Blind @ The Palladium Ballroom in Dallas, TX on Mon, Jun 8, 2009

Posted 07/14/2009

by Arielle

Location: Richardson

They were great, though actually it was a bit disillusioning. I guess I still hold artists up on pedestals, a remnant of childhood I suppose. Anyway, almost everyone there, as on this planet, was a douche bag. The whole time had to be spent telling guys with popped collars twig-like girls with too much make up, high heels, and skimpy dressed that just because they moved with confidence didn't mean I would let them push their way ahead of me. I had been waiting in the same, fairly close to the stage area, feet killing me, for 2 hours, while they had showed up late, had a few beers, etc.

Also, the audience's feeble attempts to sing along probably ruined our chances of making it on the B side of the album they were using our concert to try to acquire some tracks for. Great Dallas, effing great.

Favorite moment: When enough of us voted int he song "I Want You" over "How's it Gonna Be", not that the latter isn't great too.

Setlist: Fuck if I remember.

Choconut Bars

This is a recipe my grandma and mom made that they got from a Better Homes and Gardens book. I couldn't find it anywhere on the internet, and it belongs there, so here it is:

Ingredients:
1.5 sticks of butter
1 cup sugar
2 beaten eggs
35 graham square or 2.5 cups of crumbs
2 cups marshmallows
1 tsp vanilla extract
6 oz/1 cup of bittersweet choc. chips
1/4 cup peanut butter

Melt butter in sauce pan on medium heat
Add sugar
Take off heat
Add eggs
Stir in
Put on low heat
Stir constantly (for like 10-15 minutes) until it gets thick and bubbly
Take off heat again
Add the crumblies and marshmallows
Once it's good and mixed in together, pat it down into a pan
Then microwave the choc. and peanut butter
Mix that yummy meltiness and then spread it evenly on the other yummy goodness in the pan
Put that in the fridge for at least an hour, probably two
Try not to eat it all in one place!

I don't think subbing Splenda for any of that sugar works by the way. It'll mess it up for some reason.

This Shit is Getting Out of Hand

I don't Know Who Makes these Decisions...

But it looks like Blackberry is the new Pomegranate.

Exhibit A at TGI Friday's:













Exhibit B, in an email I received today from a gourmet restaurant:
"Feature Entree: Grilled 10 oz. Flat Iron Fillet with a Blackberry Malt Vinaigrette and crumbled Goat Cheese"

The Pomegranates are all disappearing, they're already gone from Friday's! I wonder which fruit will be next...

Dream Problems

We all have our frequent dream themes: being naked, falling, etc. Some of my common ones are: being in drumline again, my dead brother being sort of alive, being in hotels and airports, especially going up elevators at both of those places, shopping at grocery stores, driving (especially before I got my license for the first time at age 22). One more that I have with some frequency is going on a trip but having forgotten my luggage. This happens because when I'm on a trip I think back to the "real" day before and remember not packing any luggage in the "real" world. So then I spend the rest of my dream worrying about what I'm going to do without clothing, medication, the proper shoes in which to work out, etc.

I have an idea that just my be brilliant though! What if...I pack a suitcase every night before bed?! Genius, I know. That way I can actually start enjoying all these trips in my dreams! It might even work if I just keep a suitcase packed at all times and simply look inside of it occasionally.

How do some women escape this?

Today my girlfriend learned the apparently foreign concept of the weigh-in ritual.

Me: "Oh goddamit! I weigh more after peeing than before! (141.6, 141.0, respectively) That almost never happens! Well, I'll weigh again... Gotta step on and off again, wait for the cycle to resent itself, or else it'll just get stuck in a rut giving you the same weight over and over again... Just gotta hope the second one was a fluke instead of the first... Okay, now I just weigh the same amount I did the first time... (141.0). Just one more time... ugh, the same. Okay I give up for now, it is just a mid day weigh in... You see why I have to get up an extra 10 minutes earlier for work every day?"

Just a Little Business Idea of Mine

Pet Peeve of the Day

The noun form of the word "chagrin" is being used incorrectly in the same way over and over, and this must be addressed.

Dictionary.com's definition: a feeling of vexation, marked by disappointment or humiliation

Somehow, a bunch of the people who have tried to pick up on the meaning of this word through context clues have missed the part I have emboldened. I blame it on those people, I'm sure you know the type, who are clearly not very intelligent or well read and yet like to throw into conversation a heavy dose of "2 dollar" words they often misuse.

The word "chagrin" is the only word with this particular meaning, so let's not water it down or muddle it into a synonym for the word "annoyance".

Example of the correct usage: "Much to his chagrin, Charlie committed one faux pas after another in front of the girl he wanted to impress."

The way your garden variety moron uses it these days: "Much to his chagrin, Charlie couldn't find his car keys."

Unless of course, something else in the story indicates that it would be mortifying or at least mildly embarrassing for Charlie not to be able to find the keys.

My Name

I was the first Arielle Norman who ever lived. When Google happened, I was still the only one. At first there was one hit, then two, then three: National Merit Scholar commendation, Xanga, MySpace. Now, after a few years, there are 106 hits: Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, Twine, a Feminist Mormon Housewives post, an offer to run a criminal background check on me, Missy Higgins' IMEEM profile, etc., but they're still all me. Yesterday, I found out another Arielle Norman was born maybe 12 years ago. She's a little African-American girl whose mother found me on Facebook. Now that she's coming of age, she'll start getting hits sooner or later, and it'll feel very strange to see her for the first time on the front page of "my" Google search one day, and much more so if and when she's ever at the top. Anyway, with 6.6 billion and climbing, no name is safe anymore. You could name your kid LaCh@stichia17- and some little copy cat fucker will get you.

Update on 5/20/2009: I'm noticing more and more that my name, Arielle, is getting more and more popular. It's a kick ass name, I realize. I wonder how many Arielle's there were before me.

New Product on my Cafepress Store!

Check out my new product, the MEME WATER BOTTLE, as well as many other random things!

Coining A Word

Human Echolocation

Way cooler than Daredevil:

Awesome Music

This song and performance encapsulate the meaning of life and the universe for me.

Make Your Own Font!